Comments on: Transformers - The Worst Movie Ever! http://www.theirishpenguin.com/2007/07/08/transformers-the-worst-movie-ever/ When Tux walks in, Irish eyes are smiling... Tue, 06 Jan 2009 23:42:56 +0000 http://wordpress.org/?v=2.7 hourly 1 By: sean http://www.theirishpenguin.com/2007/07/08/transformers-the-worst-movie-ever/comment-page-1/#comment-1341 sean Sat, 22 Nov 2008 05:01:51 +0000 http://www.theirishpenguin.com/2007/07/08/transformers-the-worst-movie-ever/#comment-1341 just tried to watch this movie again, first time i saw it, i was really stoned and a little drunk. thought maybe i was too faded to comprehend what i was watching. my feeling at the end of the movie the first time was, what the fuck did i just watch? why were the lead characters anywhere they were throughout the movie? what was anybody trying to do?why were the robots so hard to watch? how much money was spent on this "movie"? i have always said that harlem nights was the worst movie i've ever seen,.. until i watched this piece of dung. like i said, tried to watch it sober, made it 1 hour before i just couldn't take it anymore. the only reason i made it that far, was for megan fox, unbelievably attractive. i see on the net that there is going to be another movie. WHY? WHY ? WHY ? WHY?!!!!!! just to sum it up... TRANSFORMERS IS THE WORST MOVIE EVER MADE IN THE HISTORY OF CINEMA. IF ANOTHER MOVIE IS EVER MADE THAT IS WORSE,.. THAT IS THE SIGN OF THE END OF THE WORLD AND WE SHOULD WELCOME IT JUST SO WE WON'T BE SUBJECT TO A SEQUEL. just tried to watch this movie again, first time i saw it, i was really stoned and a little drunk. thought maybe i was too faded to comprehend what i was watching. my feeling at the end of the movie the first time was, what the fuck did i just watch? why were the lead characters anywhere they were throughout the movie? what was anybody trying to do?why were the robots so hard to watch? how much money was spent on this “movie”? i have always said that harlem nights was the worst movie i’ve ever seen,.. until i watched this piece of dung. like i said, tried to watch it sober, made it 1 hour before i just couldn’t take it anymore. the only reason i made it that far, was for megan fox, unbelievably attractive. i see on the net that there is going to be another movie. WHY? WHY ? WHY ? WHY?!!!!!! just to sum it up… TRANSFORMERS IS THE WORST MOVIE EVER MADE IN THE HISTORY OF CINEMA. IF ANOTHER MOVIE IS EVER MADE THAT IS WORSE,.. THAT IS THE SIGN OF THE END OF THE WORLD AND WE SHOULD WELCOME IT JUST SO WE WON’T BE SUBJECT TO A SEQUEL.

]]> By: reclone http://www.theirishpenguin.com/2007/07/08/transformers-the-worst-movie-ever/comment-page-1/#comment-52 reclone Wed, 08 Aug 2007 21:04:24 +0000 http://www.theirishpenguin.com/2007/07/08/transformers-the-worst-movie-ever/#comment-52 I,m glad that i didn't spend any money on this movie.downloaded it,but i even think it wasn't worth the power i used.I loved the original series,but this was a discrase.i thought bumblebee was volkwagen beetle and megatron was a gun not a plane.Sometimes you didn't know where to look,one big mess. And a to much american story.rate 2 I,m glad that i didn’t spend any money on this movie.downloaded it,but i even think it wasn’t worth the power i used.I loved the original series,but this was a discrase.i thought bumblebee was volkwagen beetle and megatron was a gun not a plane.Sometimes you didn’t know where to look,one big mess.
And a to much american story.rate 2

]]> By: theirishpenguin http://www.theirishpenguin.com/2007/07/08/transformers-the-worst-movie-ever/comment-page-1/#comment-50 theirishpenguin Mon, 30 Jul 2007 11:21:15 +0000 http://www.theirishpenguin.com/2007/07/08/transformers-the-worst-movie-ever/#comment-50 Hey FridayRock, the YouTube link you posted led me to stumble upon another 2 Transformer classics, which I've posted here: http://www.theirishpenguin.com/2007/07/30/youtube-vs-hollywood-transformers-movie-shootout/ Maybe they should just show YouTube clips at the cinema's these days... Hey FridayRock, the YouTube link you posted led me to stumble upon another 2 Transformer classics, which I’ve posted here:

http://www.theirishpenguin.com/2007/07/30/youtube-vs-hollywood-transformers-movie-shootout/

Maybe they should just show YouTube clips at the cinema’s these days…

]]> By: FridayRock http://www.theirishpenguin.com/2007/07/08/transformers-the-worst-movie-ever/comment-page-1/#comment-49 FridayRock Sun, 29 Jul 2007 22:21:41 +0000 http://www.theirishpenguin.com/2007/07/08/transformers-the-worst-movie-ever/#comment-49 This is the BEST response to "Tranformers" out there, and sums up Mr. Hollywood Himself: MICHAEL BAY: Power Director http://youtube.com/watch?v=WN25hFa1rms This is the BEST response to “Tranformers” out there, and sums up Mr. Hollywood Himself:

MICHAEL BAY: Power Director
http://youtube.com/watch?v=WN25hFa1rms

]]> By: Also Irish http://www.theirishpenguin.com/2007/07/08/transformers-the-worst-movie-ever/comment-page-1/#comment-48 Also Irish Wed, 25 Jul 2007 03:56:36 +0000 http://www.theirishpenguin.com/2007/07/08/transformers-the-worst-movie-ever/#comment-48 the gay ballerina skater robots did not make this film anymore bearable the gay ballerina skater robots did not make this film anymore bearable

]]> By: FiveSevenFive http://www.theirishpenguin.com/2007/07/08/transformers-the-worst-movie-ever/comment-page-1/#comment-45 FiveSevenFive Sat, 21 Jul 2007 07:01:36 +0000 http://www.theirishpenguin.com/2007/07/08/transformers-the-worst-movie-ever/#comment-45 Gigantic robots. Gigantic robots who fight each other and destroy cities. TRANS mother fucking FORMERS. It might seem impossible to start with this premise and end with anything other than a cinematic triumph. I'll spare you the suspense: Transformers is the shittiest movie I have ever seen in my life. First of all this movie isn't Transformers. I think the creation of this movie went something like this. Someone was writing a sequel to the Even Stevens movie. They couldn't really think of any good ideas for a story, but then they remembered this little classic: Biggest pussy in the world tries to fuck a girl way too hot for him, some shit happens, they fall in love and probably fuck. Indestructible. Then GMC called them and said "we gotta get in on this; is there any way we can take this movie and just turn it into a two and a half hour commercial for our shit?" There was. I guarantee the script for this movie was eighty five percent finished before anyone thought about adding killer robots to it. I'm sure some dewy-eyed intern objected, reminding the staff "Hey, this movie isn't really about robots or anything. I thought it was about a nerd who can't get laid. And besides, all these retarded jokes are going to distract from this whole robot invasion idea." Shut up. I bet they killed him. Other issues: There is no continuity regarding the size of the Autobots. In one scene they are six foot three; in the next scene they are eight stories tall. Characters are introduced for no apparent reason, then never revisited. It goes without saying that a movie about killer robots isn't going to be heavy on character development, and that's fine, but even by the lowest possible standards these characters were trite, two dimensional caricatures of human beings. The phrase "bring the rain!" was used four times throughout this film. Enough said. Everyone who has seen this movie will tell you that the jokes are terrible. They won't tell you that these jokes comprise an easy ninety five percent of the movie. In fact, if you time your bathroom breaks and sips of Sierra Mist just right, I'm pretty sure you could make it through this entire movie without knowing it had anything to do with robots at all. And you'd probably think it was Little Nicky 2 or something. Do you remember that douche bag murderer from Farenheit 911 who was talking about how blowing babies and moms apart is kind of like a video game and in the background it's playing Drowning Pool or some bullshit? I'm pretty sure he put together the soundtrack. Suspension of disbelief is an assumed requisite of gigantic alien robot movies. But give me a break. I knew within three minutes that this movie was going to suck because an unidentified helicopter invaded U.S. airspace and the military didn't even try to shoot it down; instead they let it land in their top secret desert base and threatened it until it turned into a titanic deathbot. Which, by the way, wasn't very scary I guess because no one even flinched. One guy was even about to be crushed under its foot and instead of, you know, yelling or panicking or trying to get away, he took out some night vision goggles or some shit so he could get a better look. Every scene involving the government was written by an eleven year old. With autism. The last twenty minutes was pretty awesome as long as you are deaf and blinked during the part where the soldier is reuinted with his wife and baby. I hated this movie so much. I never thought I could hate a giant robot movie. I am almost impressed that someone managed to ruin this movie. Gigantic robots.
Gigantic robots who fight each other and destroy cities.

TRANS mother fucking FORMERS.

It might seem impossible to start with this premise and end with anything other than a cinematic triumph. I’ll spare you the suspense: Transformers is the shittiest movie I have ever seen in my life.

First of all this movie isn’t Transformers. I think the creation of this movie went something like this.

Someone was writing a sequel to the Even Stevens movie. They couldn’t really think of any good ideas for a story, but then they remembered this little classic: Biggest pussy in the world tries to fuck a girl way too hot for him, some shit happens, they fall in love and probably fuck. Indestructible.

Then GMC called them and said “we gotta get in on this; is there any way we can take this movie and just turn it into a two and a half hour commercial for our shit?”

There was.

I guarantee the script for this movie was eighty five percent finished before anyone thought about adding killer robots to it. I’m sure some dewy-eyed intern objected, reminding the staff “Hey, this movie isn’t really about robots or anything. I thought it was about a nerd who can’t get laid. And besides, all these retarded jokes are going to distract from this whole robot invasion idea.” Shut up. I bet they killed him.

Other issues:

There is no continuity regarding the size of the Autobots. In one scene they are six foot three; in the next scene they are eight stories tall.

Characters are introduced for no apparent reason, then never revisited. It goes without saying that a movie about killer robots isn’t going to be heavy on character development, and that’s fine, but even by the lowest possible standards these characters were trite, two dimensional caricatures of human beings.

The phrase “bring the rain!” was used four times throughout this film. Enough said.

Everyone who has seen this movie will tell you that the jokes are terrible. They won’t tell you that these jokes comprise an easy ninety five percent of the movie. In fact, if you time your bathroom breaks and sips of Sierra Mist just right, I’m pretty sure you could make it through this entire movie without knowing it had anything to do with robots at all. And you’d probably think it was Little Nicky 2 or something.

Do you remember that douche bag murderer from Farenheit 911 who was talking about how blowing babies and moms apart is kind of like a video game and in the background it’s playing Drowning Pool or some bullshit? I’m pretty sure he put together the soundtrack.

Suspension of disbelief is an assumed requisite of gigantic alien robot movies. But give me a break. I knew within three minutes that this movie was going to suck because an unidentified helicopter invaded U.S. airspace and the military didn’t even try to shoot it down; instead they let it land in their top secret desert base and threatened it until it turned into a titanic deathbot. Which, by the way, wasn’t very scary I guess because no one even flinched. One guy was even about to be crushed under its foot and instead of, you know, yelling or panicking or trying to get away, he took out some night vision goggles or some shit so he could get a better look.

Every scene involving the government was written by an eleven year old. With autism.

The last twenty minutes was pretty awesome as long as you are deaf and blinked during the part where the soldier is reuinted with his wife and baby.

I hated this movie so much. I never thought I could hate a giant robot movie. I am almost impressed that someone managed to ruin this movie.

]]> By: Elbeghast http://www.theirishpenguin.com/2007/07/08/transformers-the-worst-movie-ever/comment-page-1/#comment-42 Elbeghast Wed, 18 Jul 2007 10:10:27 +0000 http://www.theirishpenguin.com/2007/07/08/transformers-the-worst-movie-ever/#comment-42 I agree with the Penguin. Tranformers (the Michael Bay movie,not the electronic device which sits atop power lines and actually serves a purpose)is absolutely horrible. Okay,let me say first,I am a HUGE transformers fan (the original cartoon) and I loved Armaggedon.Yes,I dare say it,I liked (past tense) a Michael Bay movie (except for that Affleck guy,how does one who cannot act get a acting career?!?!).....anyways.... The Decepticons...had absolutely no plot.Well (SPOILER),okay they WERE trying to find Megatron.The Starscream I know and love would have only half-heartedly attempted to even start to look for a frozen and incapacitated Megatron and then it would only be so he could destroy his iced up "former" leader and then turn his attention to vanquishing the autobots as "new" leader of the Decepticons. (ok,that sentence was kind of a run-on)...Starscream only had one small pathetic line in the movie...Shananagins Michael Bay,I call shananagins. Frenzy...reminded me of an Ewok cross bred with a Jawa and General Grievous...except with WAY more caffeine.Didn't that scene in the Hoover Dam S7 base (where frenzy was trying to get in the door) remind you of the velociraptors trying to get into the control room at Jurassic Park? Megatron....a cybertronian jet instead of,oh say,a Tank or somethin? In the very few scenes where it showed the transformers from a wide angle shot,you couldn't even tell the Difference between Megatron and Starscream...well for any of the Decepticons for that matter.The only reason the Autobots looked different was the color of their paintjobs. The Autobots were MAJOR wusses.....the army guys downed WAY more Decepticons than the Autobots did.The Autobots meerly seemed like cannon fodder,a diversion if you will,so the Army guys could concentrate on effectively killing the supposedly "technologically advanced" Decepticons. Scorponok...What was the point of Scorponok in the movie?!?! He deploys from Blackout and the decides to stalk some army guys for no apparent reason?!?! Then he just sits there and gets blasted by some jets with S.A.B.O.'s instead of doing something cunning and underhanded like good ol animated Scorponok would have done.Very disappointing Mr. Bay. Oh,the Army guys....Why the heck would they suddenly decide to hide the Allspark in a city populated with civilians instead of say...hmmmm...a fortified military base? HELLO! Why did Optimus Prime run from S7 on foot,carrying Sam and Mikaela,rather than turn truck and roll out? That scene was more King Kong than Transformers.....even the part with Bumblebee gettin captured and Sam's rant "He's not fighting back!"...pathetic. The Final Battle.....Optimus would have had his servos handed to him on a spikey platter by Megatron had ..ahem..Sam....(geeky teenager Sam)...not have somehow managed to carry the Allspark under Megatron and insert it into his chest cavity. Man,this is just some of the small beefs I got with this movie.I could literally type for hours about how bad this movie is. I did like some stuff too...the special effects,the explosions,the computer generated transformations,the 2009 Camaro...uhhh....hmmm....well....I guess thats all the movie was....no intelligent plot really,just lots of action and shaky cams and plenty of leg shots of transformers. My advice would be to wait til one of your dumb friends buys the DVD of this ..ahem.."movie" and then borrow it from them and after its over,pray to whatever higher being you believe in to return your two hours of time that you lost while watching this sad excuse for a movie.If you dont do that then you'll be praying to the higher being to return not only your two hours of lost time,but also your $5 in gas and $40 for tickets and concession items that you wasted so you could see this miserable mudball of a motion picture at the multi-plex. I think the main problem with the movie was that Michael Bay spent so much of the budget on the special effects that he could not hire a writer.Its almost as if he gave a couple of transformer toys to two small children and then transcribed what they were saying to each other as they played with the toys,then he based the movie on their dialogue. I am very sad Michael Bay.I will never watch another one of your movies.I am serious.You killed my childhood with this ignorant interpretation of one of the best,most original cartoons of my generation. Please Mr. Bay...Do a Rainbow Brite or Strawberry Shortcake movie,they deserve a slow agonizing death at your hand.Leave the Transformer movies to someone who is actually a fan and respects the characters (and who can afford a writer...heck Conan O'Brien would have done a better writing job.). P.S. I am also very disappointed in Mr. Spielberg.....He shoulda got Quentin Tarantino or at least anyone else besides Michael Bay to do the movie. (I personally think Tarantino woulda rocked its socks.) Before this movie,I liked Michael Bay.I was actually one of his fans.I see your true colors now Mr. Bay..the wool has been removed from my eyes.Never again will the likes of you fool me into thinking a movie is good because stuff gets blown up. SHANANAGINS!!!! >. I agree with the Penguin. Tranformers (the Michael Bay movie,not the electronic device which sits atop power lines and actually serves a purpose)is absolutely horrible. Okay,let me say first,I am a HUGE transformers fan (the original cartoon) and I loved Armaggedon.Yes,I dare say it,I liked (past tense) a Michael Bay movie (except for that Affleck guy,how does one who cannot act get a acting career?!?!)…..anyways….
The Decepticons…had absolutely no plot.Well (SPOILER),okay they WERE trying to find Megatron.The Starscream I know and love would have only half-heartedly attempted to even start to look for a frozen and incapacitated Megatron and then it would only be so he could destroy his iced up “former” leader and then turn his attention to vanquishing the autobots as “new” leader of the Decepticons. (ok,that sentence was kind of a run-on)…Starscream only had one small pathetic line in the movie…Shananagins Michael Bay,I call shananagins.
Frenzy…reminded me of an Ewok cross bred with a Jawa and General Grievous…except with WAY more caffeine.Didn’t that scene in the Hoover Dam S7 base (where frenzy was trying to get in the door) remind you of the velociraptors trying to get into the control room at Jurassic Park?
Megatron….a cybertronian jet instead of,oh say,a Tank or somethin?
In the very few scenes where it showed the transformers from a wide angle shot,you couldn’t even tell the Difference between Megatron and Starscream…well for any of the Decepticons for that matter.The only reason the Autobots looked different was the color of their paintjobs.
The Autobots were MAJOR wusses…..the army guys downed WAY more Decepticons than the Autobots did.The Autobots meerly seemed like cannon fodder,a diversion if you will,so the Army guys could concentrate on effectively killing the supposedly “technologically advanced” Decepticons.
Scorponok…What was the point of Scorponok in the movie?!?! He deploys from Blackout and the decides to stalk some army guys for no apparent reason?!?! Then he just sits there and gets blasted by some jets with S.A.B.O.’s instead of doing something cunning and underhanded like good ol animated Scorponok would have done.Very disappointing Mr. Bay.
Oh,the Army guys….Why the heck would they suddenly decide to hide the Allspark in a city populated with civilians instead of say…hmmmm…a fortified military base? HELLO!
Why did Optimus Prime run from S7 on foot,carrying Sam and Mikaela,rather than turn truck and roll out? That scene was more King Kong than Transformers…..even the part with Bumblebee gettin captured and Sam’s rant “He’s not fighting back!”…pathetic.
The Final Battle…..Optimus would have had his servos handed to him on a spikey platter by Megatron had ..ahem..Sam….(geeky teenager Sam)…not have somehow managed to carry the Allspark under Megatron and insert it into his chest cavity.
Man,this is just some of the small beefs I got with this movie.I could literally type for hours about how bad this movie is.
I did like some stuff too…the special effects,the explosions,the computer generated transformations,the 2009 Camaro…uhhh….hmmm….well….I guess thats all the movie was….no intelligent plot really,just lots of action and shaky cams and plenty of leg shots of transformers.
My advice would be to wait til one of your dumb friends buys the DVD of this ..ahem..”movie” and then borrow it from them and after its over,pray to whatever higher being you believe in to return your two hours of time that you lost while watching this sad excuse for a movie.If you dont do that then you’ll be praying to the higher being to return not only your two hours of lost time,but also your $5 in gas and $40 for tickets and concession items that you wasted so you could see this miserable mudball of a motion picture at the multi-plex.
I think the main problem with the movie was that Michael Bay spent so much of the budget on the special effects that he could not hire a writer.Its almost as if he gave a couple of transformer toys to two small children and then transcribed what they were saying to each other as they played with the toys,then he based the movie on their dialogue.
I am very sad Michael Bay.I will never watch another one of your movies.I am serious.You killed my childhood with this ignorant interpretation of one of the best,most original cartoons of my generation.
Please Mr. Bay…Do a Rainbow Brite or Strawberry Shortcake movie,they deserve a slow agonizing death at your hand.Leave the Transformer movies to someone who is actually a fan and respects the characters (and who can afford a writer…heck Conan O’Brien would have done a better writing job.).

P.S. I am also very disappointed in Mr. Spielberg…..He shoulda got Quentin Tarantino or at least anyone else besides Michael Bay to do the movie. (I personally think Tarantino woulda rocked its socks.)
Before this movie,I liked Michael Bay.I was actually one of his fans.I see your true colors now Mr. Bay..the wool has been removed from my eyes.Never again will the likes of you fool me into thinking a movie is good because stuff gets blown up. SHANANAGINS!!!! >.

]]> By: Optimus Prime in Transformers Shocker! « Declan On Ice http://www.theirishpenguin.com/2007/07/08/transformers-the-worst-movie-ever/comment-page-1/#comment-39 Optimus Prime in Transformers Shocker! « Declan On Ice Tue, 10 Jul 2007 19:32:56 +0000 http://www.theirishpenguin.com/2007/07/08/transformers-the-worst-movie-ever/#comment-39 [...] Optimus Prime in Transformers Shocker! It’s not often that I cross post between my sites but the new Transformers film is so bad I felt the need to speak up. Noooooo…. [...] [...] Optimus Prime in Transformers Shocker! It’s not often that I cross post between my sites but the new Transformers film is so bad I felt the need to speak up. Noooooo…. [...]

]]> By: theirishpenguin http://www.theirishpenguin.com/2007/07/08/transformers-the-worst-movie-ever/comment-page-1/#comment-38 theirishpenguin Tue, 10 Jul 2007 07:27:10 +0000 http://www.theirishpenguin.com/2007/07/08/transformers-the-worst-movie-ever/#comment-38 No, the Transformers weren't supposed to 'act' like that. They were a bunch of sad bastards. They were so sad it's not funny. The way it's supposed to go is that the humans should be afraid of the Transformers not the other way round - the 'almighty' Megatron, he couldn't even outrun a pesky teenager up a few flights of stairs at the end. Maybe Megatron had developed asthma and forgot his inhaler??? He was utterly pathetic. If I want to go and look at a pathetic, fragile, mechanical device I'll go to an iPod store, not a Transformer flick. I would rather stick a fork in my eye whilst banging my head off a wall than watch that crap again! No, the Transformers weren’t supposed to ‘act’ like that. They were a bunch of sad bastards. They were so sad it’s not funny.

The way it’s supposed to go is that the humans should be afraid of the Transformers not the other way round - the ‘almighty’ Megatron, he couldn’t even outrun a pesky teenager up a few flights of stairs at the end. Maybe Megatron had developed asthma and forgot his inhaler??? He was utterly pathetic.

If I want to go and look at a pathetic, fragile, mechanical device I’ll go to an iPod store, not a Transformer flick.

I would rather stick a fork in my eye whilst banging my head off a wall than watch that crap again!

]]> By: ixeos http://www.theirishpenguin.com/2007/07/08/transformers-the-worst-movie-ever/comment-page-1/#comment-37 ixeos Mon, 09 Jul 2007 18:47:42 +0000 http://www.theirishpenguin.com/2007/07/08/transformers-the-worst-movie-ever/#comment-37 dood u have no idea wtf ur talking about. best f/x I've ever seen in a movie. The transformers 'acted' just as they were supposed to act... like an alien species new to earth. the decepticons were freaking amazing too... megatron flicking a human while saying 'disgusting'? go see it again and figure out everything you missed. dood u have no idea wtf ur talking about. best f/x I’ve ever seen in a movie. The transformers ‘acted’ just as they were supposed to act… like an alien species new to earth. the decepticons were freaking amazing too… megatron flicking a human while saying ‘disgusting’? go see it again and figure out everything you missed.

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